We planned a weekend away staying with family before my op, to take my mind off everything. We had a lovely 8 mile walk along the beach planned, I couldn't wait to be outdoors in the fresh air with the peace of being by the sea. I started the walk but only got a couple of miles before I had to turn back, I was in so much pain and needed to be close to toilets at all times. I was totally devastated. This was the first time this illness had really stopped me from doing something and I began to feel like I was actually ill, the cancer diagnosis hit me a little bit harder at that point.
I felt isolated from the outside world, like I didn't belong. I felt sick and day to day life was no place for sick people. Social media didn't help at this point as I watched everyone going about celebrating their lives. I became desperate for the surgery to happen and believed it was my gateway back into the 'normal' world. That's all I could focus on, being able to rejoin the world and get on with my life.
Up until now I have only ever been to hospital as an outpatient or a visitor for family and friends. I've never been a huge fan of hospitals (I’m the girl who always gets offered a seat when visiting people because nurses take one look at me and comment on how pale I’ve gotten) and ever since I was little the idea of an overnight stay in hospital, let alone an operation as well, was terrifying.
I don't think I'm on my own with this one and I thought I'd write a post about how I prepared myself both mentally and physically for my operation. Just in case there is anyone out there who is a total hospital novice like me!
My operation was scheduled for a Monday, great that we could get it over and done with at the start of a week, but I knew that the weekend before would be a challenge. Although I couldn't go far from the house we made every effort to make it as nice and relaxing as possible.
I filled the house with fresh flowers, I wanted it to be lovely and cheerful to come home to, we made sure the fridge was fully stocked with fresh food and made a healthy meal plan. I even changed the bedding on our bed because there is nothing better than coming home to clean sheets, and I cleaned and tidied the house because I didn't know how mobile I would be the week after.
That night we had a take-away, made the lounge all cosy and watched a film. On Sunday Tom went to the football whilst I planned a day of pampering. I had a nice long bath, watched trashy TV (yummy mummy’s of Melbourne levels of trash!) and treated myself to a facial. In the evening my sister, brother in law a little niece came for tea and we went all out with huge plates of spaghetti, meatballs and garlic bread (luckily my surgery was in the afternoon so I didn't have to start my fast until 7:30am on Monday morning).
On Monday morning Tom brought me a cup of tea in bed which I quickly finished before 7:30am and we got ready slowly before heading into the hospital for 11am.
Tom and my mum were able to stay with me right up until I was due to go down to surgery which was a huge relief. The last thing I wanted was to be left on my own with loads of time for my brain to overthink! We read lots of magazines, chatted about anything and everything but the op and enjoyed the sunshine out of the window.
When it was time for surgery everything happened so quickly that I didn't really have time to think about it or get scared. Everyone I met at the hospital that day was so amazing and made me feel so much more relaxed than I ever thought possible. Even during my surgery we chatted away about weddings and honeymoons and upcoming holidays and before I knew it I was headed into recovery.
I got my own gorgeous room when I made it to the ward complete with en-suite bathroom (not that I was allowed out of bed because I couldn’t feel or move anything from the waist down) and two big windows with a view of the treetops. Because I had come out of surgery later in the day and not made it onto the ward until after 5pm the nurses let Tom stay with me way past visiting hours.
My nights stay in hospital was not the comfiest but that was mainly down to all the drips, tubes and catheter I had to try and share my bed with. First thing in the morning they were removed and after a few more checks I was free to come home.
Tom worked from home for the rest of the week to keep an eye on me and I finally allowed myself to get excited about the baby! It's a great distraction from thinking about and waiting for the results, which is, I'm not going to lie, a little bit challenging.
Surgery is a big deal, but I can promise anyone that is waiting for theirs that it is no way as scary as you are imagining and you will be looked after so well at every stage because the NHS really is amazing.
Katie xxx
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