A baby and bladder cancer: An honest account of our first year

It's been one whole year since Oscar joined the party after what was a rather exhausting, but empowering 12 hours of labour. I get asked a lot how I'm coping with life as a new mum having cancer treatment so I thought now was an ideal time to do a little round up of our first year.



For the most part it's gone relatively smoothly. I was jolted out of my new-born bubble with some more essential surgery at 3 weeks postpartum which I could have done without, and I will admit I had a post chemo freak out at the thought of accidentally exposing Oscar to some super nasty chemicals (but that was just in my head). I'd also absolutely have loved to have lost all the baby weight by now, but you can't have it all! Other than that we've just switched up baby sensory classes for hospital appointments where Oscar gets all the attention from the nurses so I'm pretty confident he loves it.

It all kind of changed a little bit after my last op though and I did have a bit of a wobble. For some reason it took me much longer than usual to recover. Probably in part due to being completely knackered, Oscar was going through a 'phase' and none of us were getting much sleep. I needed a lot more down time than I would have liked and I ended up needing a lot more help with childcare than I had anticipated, which I found quite stressful. It all got a bit much and I got really upset that I hadn't been giving him the attention that he deserved and mum guilt kicked in big time.

Then it dawned on me that if I had gone back to work at the end of my maternity leave as I had always planned then I would be doing the same thing and some how that made me feel a little better. Or at least less alone, as I know that a lot of mums are struggling through that working mum juggle every single day. This takes me nicely onto the other major challenge I had in this first year.

I never planned on being a stay at home mum. I wanted to take maternity leave and then I wanted to return to work full time, or ideally part time. But my cancer diagnosis ran a steam roller through all of my well thought out plans, including this one. When I was first diagnosed I was in shock for quiet some time and it soon became evident that trying to return to work at that time just wasn't going to happen.

This was not an easy decision for me and one that is still having a huge impact on my life. Looking after a one year old is tough! They are basically constantly trying to kill themselves, avoid sleep at all costs and they aren't that great at conversation either. They make everyday tasks about 1000 times harder and it takes approximately 1 hour to leave the house! Yes they are amazing and I love Oscar more than anything in the world, but it is also the single hardest, most isolating thing that I have ever done.

I would love to be able to go back to work but that isn't something that feels like an option for me yet. You see the thing I didn't factor in when I left my job was how much harder it would be to find another after I became a mum with cancer.

Firstly, there is the horrible catch 22 that all working mums are faced with, the huge cost of childcare means that often going back to work just about covers the nursery fees. Lots choose this option simply for the sake of their sanity and I'm not ashamed to admit, I would too given the chance. But hears where cancer kicks you in the nuts yet again. How do you convince a new employer that you're right for the job whilst simultaneously explaining that you will need to take regular time off to go for treatment and recover from operations.

My next option, or what felt like my only option at the time, was to start my own business. Joining the ranks of all the amazing mums trying their hardest to have it all and set up their own business. Spoiler alert, no-one has it all and the work life balance might just be a myth! I have limited childcare and therefore I have to set up and run my business during nap times, after bed time and when Tom's around on weekends. It's hard but I know I'd find it a whole lot harder not to do anything. It’s also the second best decision I ever made (after having Oscar of course) I’m finding it so so rewarding and I’m loving every second of it so far!

My next lot of treatment (BCG) is due to start at the beginning of November and the possibility of more noticeable side effects means I need to preempt additional childcare whilst ensuring Oscar's routine is affected as little as possible. This is something new for me and only time will tell how well we cope. All I know is that cancer (and motherhood) have taught me to be resilient, adaptable and patient. Essentially we'll all be okay...as long as Oscar never figures out how child locks work!

Thanks for reading,

Katie xxx