Everything I know about fear, and the hardest blog post I've had to write

This post was one of the hardest I've ever written but I've been doing a lot of listening to the You, Me and The Big C Podcast this week after the tragic passing of Rachael Bland. I had only been following Rachael on Instagram since my diagnosis back in March but I found her so inspiring and amazing and I was really sad when I heard the news on Wednesday.

Pregnancy: Expectation V's Reality

I think it's fair to say that I haven't had the most typical pregnancy, however all of that aside (I'm taking five minutes away from cancer talk...because fatigue!) pregnancy is nothing at all how I imagined it would be!

Sharing my story and the first steps to raising more awareness for bladder cancer

The first few weeks after being told I potentially had bladder cancer were the hardest. Going through investigative treatment, not knowing if the baby would be okay and the agonising wait for results were one thing, but the other was the feeling of being totally alone.

Last birthday before baby

I remember turning 23 so vividly. I was in Italy at the time with my parents. I had just graduated from uni, I had just been dumped from my 4 and a half year relationship and I had been kicked out of my house. I didn't know what was next for me and I felt thoroughly miserable. Turning 23 felt like the universe sticking the knife in a little bit further...I felt sooooooo old! (Ha!)

Not all disabilities and illnesses are visible

I didn’t get chance to  post a blog this week, I had loads lined up and ready to go but then I had a very busy week to contend with and I didn't get chance! Although not the one I had originally planned to share, this seemed like a much better post for today.

Switching our Honeymoon for a Babymoon

When we had to cancel our honeymoon to Crete earlier this year we waited until we had the all clear from my surgeon and switched it up with a baby-moon to Majorca instead.

Pregnant nervous flyer over here

I've never been much of a fan of flying I'm not going to lie and the idea of flying with a baby bump made me all kinds of anxious! But after having to cancel our Honeymoon in May to make way for my surgery, we were both very much in need of a holiday.

Body image, baby and cancer

Feeling a dick for thinking I was fat in this picture 

Believe it or not this is one of the trickiest posts I've written so far but it's been on my mind for a while now and in the interest of this blog being all about openness and honesty I thought I'd give it a go.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

I had a totally different blog post lined up for today but I changed my mind after reading Kris Hallenga's (founder of @coppafeelpeople) Instagram post this weekend about it being 10 years since her first visit to her GP and her cancer misdiagnosis. I was struck by some of the similarities between our GP experience and wanted to share my own struggle for a diagnosis. Only we know our own bodies and we have to trust our gut. I completely put my trust in my doctors for 8 months, ignoring my own body and my symptoms completely. 

Really couldn't resist a bit of a gender reveal!

After everything that's been going on the last few months it's suddenly so nice and a little strange to have things to celebrate again, especially when it comes to this pregnancy. We are now more than half way through what has so far been a pretty stressful pregnancy and suddenly it feels like its flying by.

My Diagnosis and what it means

The most nervous I have been through out this whole process was on Tuesday 5th June. Results Day! After the surgery I had put this day as far to the back of my mind as I possibly could, high on the thought of our new life.

Can I talk pregnancy now?!

With everything that has been going on almost from the very start of my pregnancy I haven't really dared to allow myself to acknowledge that it was actually happening. So much so that I've made it to 19 weeks already!

Prepping for my very first surgery

The last week before the op was hard. My symptoms became more noticeable, I was uncomfortable most of the time and didn't really feel comfortable going far from the house. It was scary because up until now I hadn't really had many symptoms (except for the blood) but that was pretty painless to start with and I'd been determined not to let it stop me living a normal life.